Stuff and junk from my world view that finds an outlet in written form. My own personal hell shared with you. For your infotainment. All activity is performed without adult supervision.

Friday, December 31, 2004


New years eve wasn't so great. I am so tired. I'm always a mess this time of year. It's one of the days I dread and anticipate at the same time. What is with most people? I think my holiday spirit is dead. It's just like any other day to me now just noisier. No lasagna last night? Something is definitely going wrong. If you cant tell (most people usually can't unless I tell them) I'm in one of those somber, melancholy, ain't-stuff-funny moods right now.

Appologies: I would like to appologize to people I've hurt in the past. Emotionally, physically or otherwise. No appologies though to some since they don't deserve it. I appologize for my spelling.

Resolutions: I think I'll just continue what I'm doing now. haven't had a coffee since February 2002, really, not even anything coffee flavored. Will continue this. Will not change attitude. My attitude is a matter of opinion really, depends on who I'm with at the moment and to the people who know me. I'll see what I need to change as it comes along. Will try slowly to eliminate meat from the diet. This reminds me I would rather now have a Bailey's and cake party rather than a juvenile "inuman".

What lies ahead this new year: The usual. Life is pain. I hate school, I hate this, I hate that. I may hurt somebody. I have to find a road to enlightenment. Hell, I can't tell right now. I want to keep optimistic, or at least try. More movies with Scarlett and Bill (In good company, The life aquatic, I so loved Scarlett in Ghost World even though she just played a small role, Wes Anderson is Such a good writer and director, reminds me; people out there go watch Rushmore, then tell me where you got it I wanna atch it again myself, I just saw it through cable and they won't repeat it ), Batman, I still preffer well scripted stuff compared to reality. My life is way to consumed in watching movies now. Still trying to figure out the human condition.

Unrelated note: Hey, did anybody catch Equilibrium? Bad story, great choreography, forget all the kung fu bullshit in Matrix (impossible!), give me "gun-kata"(uh, this is the Japanese genre for the movie, also, it was mentioned in the film) anyday!

Things forgotten remembered: The hookups,buddy? Or do you mean the hang-ups? Hence the "sleep is fun", tubby=me.She is so cool and hot (warm!). Lukewarm is like Church girl, like plain oatmeal, boring, but thats just the way she is, at least nothing bothers her. Gah. How do people catch The Gay, is it contagious? I know someone who realized he had it overnight. Well, live your life the way you want to. I'm still homophobic. Takoyaki was a great discovery. So was blogging (I keep telling the kids; blogging they ask? Well, its like kikiam only spicier!). I will still come up with a guide to food in stalls, still checking out the stalls. Oh yeah, I learned how to use a semicolon properly.

It' been a long time since I polished my Stealth Harrier, gonna go bomb Iraq now. Check out the Onion. All those clandestine missions? That was me. Hmm... Didn't notice the sun come up, getting less somber by the minute.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Looking back.

2004 was a bitch.

2004 was such a screwover (not entiely my fault!) A new year is coming up. Another chance for me to start over (cue John Lennon's "Starting Over"... it'll be like starting over...starting oveeer...) 2005 I hope it starts out right (23rd time's the charm, right?). Must find someone to hug, lose weight, loose mass, get new working organs, fix teeth. Also, 96 year old zombies must die, some people must vanish off th face of the Earth and i win the lotto. I'd better start next year.

What went on:

-Lost interest in the "Church girl"(formerly the Stunning girl). Turns out she's really boring (my opinion).
-Second week of school someone gets my a very special hello. Courtesy of my right hook (this happens every year, people just don't learn). Got so many people angry, nothing new, really.
-More damn school. Why did I go back? Later in the year i will realize that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, not what I was meant to do.
-Missing some movies (when the hell was Lost in Translation coming?)
-Saw last part of Lord of the Rings, intense. ("Orlando!" The person behind me, not me, I swear!)

-22nd year aaagh! Old, old! Proving once again that somebody feds me everytime it's my birthday. Thanks for the siomai, buddy.
-So begins my love for emulation and addiction to mothballs and cardboard.
-Prozac goodness.
-It's a short month, nothing much else happened.

-The numbers start to not work so good.
-Saw the entire Daft Punk video, Interstella 5555, excellent. Quit the whole day of school in anticipation. Need to see it, (cue music) one more time!
-Finally saw Lost in Translation. Ahhh Scarlett, ahhh Bill (?). Eh? on the ending.
-To all the lonelyhearts out there: If the one you want will do you for money, refuse! It is not worth it! I learned the hard way, and felt guilty, sick and nauseas afterwards. See what happens to people without prolonged exposure to my warmness? You will be happier with the money. Experience can wait, believe you me!
-Number usage paranoia.

-Happy 19th, you know who you are. Was this when we watched Gangs of New York and realized that it wasn't a Black Thaing? -Saw Blow, I knew he was cool ever since 21 Jumpstreet.
-Missed Catch Me if You Can, I think, or was it last year.

-Cant remember, Move on.

-If I knew I was going to fail one subject I shouldn't have gone back. People need to see my work.

-Hated it.

-Laser video closes. 7/11/04. Sad day in Baguio geek history. I've been going to this store since I was 10. Mid-age crisis over, I lost my drive completely. CURSE YOU BIG BUSINESS! The Man always tramples on the little guy.

-Failed a class, I didn't really fail as much as it was the teacher that failed me, the son of a bitch.
-Learning korean (kind of)
-Strangely watching more Kim Possible and As Told by Ginger (someone said that when I'm with someone it's like I'm with Hoodsy)
-I remember... on the monkeys... Regret.
-Oy, happy birthday hansam boy!

-I really hate school.
-Piracy is nice, they should get "Futures"

-Social work gives head lice.
-Lighter note sleep is fun. We, yes we, move closer tubby, should try this again.
-I hate a lot of people. "Volcano" son of a bitch included.
-Listening to Everlast, "Were all gonna die".
-Blind date. I'm not a playa. Why is it always good girls?

-Tried to fight The Man, no result, yet. Something should happen.
-Read my medical records, fun!
-Saw someone I knew (single mom last I knew her), she's married now? Unable to make a kid? It's the guy I tell her. Didnt really tell her. Surrogate/donor anyone?Anyone?
-Ah, finally, a break. Time to contemplate and reflect. Blogging is nice therapy I agree.
-Lower middle class and broke. I really need a job.
-Tsunami in the news. The son's of bitches in Aceh Indonesia deserved it.

Here's hoping for the year ahead:
Gotta make my peace with God, and the universe, and Joi (...If you're listening, sing it back... Keep me sane, grounded) track down the son of a bitch responsible for spyware, find US Minish Cap ROM, finish it with all heart containers (I always miss one), learn alchemy to turn useless books to Complete Collected Peanuts (all volumes, methinks 20+ books hardbound)or actually find it, get Elder the continuation to Eragon, read Narnia series move to Ambani owned Hyderabad India, or Sweden, join the Legion, complete my music collection, get a new PC, my granduncle's GT (in good condition 8 cylinders! power! I need a new hobby!), find my soulmate (I am convinced it's the girl in the personals), learn a new language, defeat Hiroyuki Sakai (invincible!) in a pasta battle,and a lot more that I haven't remembered yet. Oh yeah, not die yet.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Zorak, hand me my People Fencer.

The 25th is over. I hope no more filthy bastards show up by my door (childkicker). Whatever happened to carolling for the holiday spirit? All these sons of bitches want is money now. The older ones should be aware that they're just annoying people inside the homes (hey, homes!).

Lighter note: Seen Spirited Away, again, Chistmas eve, 13:50 CAT beautiful, it is not a cheap factory cartoon.

Other goings on:

The Phrenology of Panget. Did you know you could always tell a chump simply by looking at them it's simple. Most people under 5 feet (rare cases include some over 5 feet, rare) , round heads (I bet with a lot of odd bumps), cropped gelled hair (cropped unlike yours truly),weak jawline, acne, round body build. Also, they may be wearing the following clothing combo: Sports jacket (the louder the color the bigger the chump), button down shirt under jacket. Jeans with loafers combo (No offense to people who just like loafers), flinchy, especially flinchy when fist is thrust centimeters within face.

Does anybody know where to get a copy of How to Practise, by the Dalai Lama or Eats shoots and leaves? Very much interested in these books, one for reading the latter for writing.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Going up the down escalator.

People say that my problems are there because I don't go with the flow.


Anyway happy holidays to everyone, if you have reason to celebrate. Another new year in 8 days time to look back and see how much time i've wasted. Someone is so right I'm wasting my potential in school, I could have been something that I wanted if I was just in the right country.

Damn I hate this time of year, bastards asking for change who wont leave until you decide that you're so sick of their songs. And they call it carolling? I really hate the older bastards who do this, they're even harder to get rid of. Aren't they old enough to know that they're just annoying people?

Once again I'm broke for the holidays. My vacation starts on the 23rd (Is this not a bitch?!) I can't believe I have to actually pay for books in stores (people use money to buy things now? Preposterous!). Enlightenment doesn't come free in this country (...At 10 I shaved my head and tried to be a monk....).

Things I would want right now are not all material things, I would just want that all the people I don't like would freeze in their sleep. I know cursing people is "bad karma" put some people really, really deserve it, and as if my karma wasn't already screwed. Dammit, the universe owes me!

If anyone could give a complete set of Jimmy eat world CDs Weezer CDs the Smashing pumpkins (Machina 2 why so hard to find?) and a DVD palyer, a muscle car, and a PC that can run Half life 2, all that plus to get out of the house (I really need to move out, they have a term for me in Korea, I'm known as a Parasite single, damn, I need a job too.), now if someone gave me all this plus a new house, then I'd be set. There's a lot more that I'd want I just need to remember them first. (GREEDY, GREEDY!!! I, I, I!!! ME ME ME!!!) Once again I would like to say the universe owes me.

Ah, short-term goals.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Get off my lawn!

Kids today are just stupid.

What's with all these kids in Che (or any other damn revolutionary) t-shirts these days? I'm pretty damn sure Che or Lenin did not skateboard or listen to Marley. These kids look non-conformist in a conformist kind of way. Che definitely did not stand for freedom of choice, the fucking commie.

What's with all the whining and screaming in music these days? What the fuck are they saying? Who the fuck still thinks that it's cool? Who in the first place? Who is the son of a bitch that took away the roll from rock and roll? I am so going to choke these sons of bitches.

Why do the kids think that the hang loose hand sign means cellphone? And, when you shake the hang loose sign it means that the phone is ringing.

Stupid, just plain fucking stupid.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Chance is a fickle bitch.

I've been talking about destroying (yes I do mean DESTROY) somebody these past few days. I just saw him on the street and the timing was just awful, all I did was throw a few insults, DAMN. Am I beginning to be just talk? Is this the beginning of a more mature me? DAMN.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

For those who came in late...

Finally got the tagboard working last night. (Glenn, we should have checked the internet settings.)

Existential crisis? What is this that Mr. Jovic is talking about?

Just something I've been going through the past few years, ever since I got back in school (school again! when the hell will I not have to think about this!). Here's the lowdown:

Type A: Who am I? What am I doing here? What will I do tommorow? Where is the bitch with my money?
Type B: What others think of me, and do I really care?
Type C: Aloneness, not loneliness. (There is a difference. It's like the difference of warm specialness and special warmness)

Someone said that I just have Holiday depression syndrome (...when the air is colder people tend to blah blah blah...).

So this is what depression feels like. Strange cause I don't usually get depressed, pissed and sad at separate times, but never at the same time.

Unrelated note: When is Rokusaburo gonna fight that Kandagawa charachter? More exciting than wrestling! More real than reality!

Is TV patrol world touting itself as the first "reality based" news show?

When will Filipino TV ever rip-off Bollywood, they've already ripped of superhero crap off Indian TV (Go Shaktiman, you crazy Nazi SOB!)