Stuff and junk from my world view that finds an outlet in written form. My own personal hell shared with you. For your infotainment. All activity is performed without adult supervision.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


By now I guess I can say that whatever happened in the past was a result of me being younger (ie."I'm sorry , I didn't know, I was younger then"[and/or I needed the money. haha!].). So am I mature now? Not quite. We were all younger back then, it's real funny now that I look back. 24 years of bitter struggle has only shown me what a jerk/creep I've often been (am/was) at times and circumstances.

In these past 24 years I've made some choices; good, bad, whatever. I've made friends (I should appreciate more what little I have. Thanks for sticking it out with me, the biggest jerk in all humanity), enemies (hoowhee,lots and lots, so is the freind of my enemy my freind or my enemy?). Forgave and kept grudges. Forgot and remembered. I've seen people get married have kids move on and become actualized adults (how weird. Also, with employment). Moved on, held back. Had a lot of awkward transitional stages (does anyone still remember my the whole existential crises? I feel they'll be making a comeback soon. Hey, no health worries at least.) And, partied like it was 1999(back in '99 of course). In these 24 years I've experienced a lot, more than I would have wanted anyway.

What does the future hold? Who knows. Hope is always sure. The world seems to get smaller. I believe I'll see more people moving on. I'll stick with whats working till it doesn't (BTW you won't see me going all preachy and telling you how to live your life, like most aged people who think that they're adults do. Hey, growing up is constant, its not like theres anyone whose reached the final age of maturity. When one reaches their final maturity, by-the-way, it only means they're dead.) I'll see if I have fun.