Stuff and junk from my world view that finds an outlet in written form. My own personal hell shared with you. For your infotainment. All activity is performed without adult supervision.

Sunday, May 08, 2005


If You've been reading last January, you may have already noticed. Just restating the now obvious.

Last January my forecast for the year was that everything(...EVERYTHING! You know everything in life, everything in... EVERYTHING!) would come or happen late/would be disapointing/would be annoying or disturbing/would be just plain sad/would never come or happen at all. Also, things will fall into place, but never when you're ready.

I was right.
Why do I have the feeling that I'm ahead of my time?
My word for the year: Tragic

As of now; I'm afraid of going out. I'll just get disapointed in everything. I'm afraid to get a job, the feeling of "selling out" hangs heavy. I'm afraid of people, I'm so used to the fact that nobody tries to get to know me anymore, hate me, or are also afraid of me. I'm afraid that I'll never find what I really want, living in this place and time/here and now, makes giving up seem so easy.

Good things will come, but when, definitely not now, but later, and not for me.