Stuff and junk from my world view that finds an outlet in written form. My own personal hell shared with you. For your infotainment. All activity is performed without adult supervision.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Here's the pitch.

Are there no good movies out there? There are so many crappy comic based movies coming out that really suck, lack originality, and have really bad themes and stories. I haven't yet watched a movie (in a theater) once this year (Ah movies, the lifeblood of slackers! TV too, but there's nothing on anymore. Other people's realities suck. Maybe I'll go watch Batman, but thats it). Marvel movies really piss me off! Fantastic 4, Jessica Alba? is this all there is to this movie? Don't get me started on Elektra, for someone ith this kind of name shouldn't she be, like, shooting lightning and e-lectricity? Constantine? Norton would have been another good choice, sadly overlooked, again, cause he was short, I hear and they got the charachter's 'tude wrong.

Anyway, here's my pitch for a really great movie, comic based too! I hope some Hollywood big shot is reading.


What could be better? It's got everything, robots, manly men, cross-dressing, aliens, robot aliens EVERYTHING. Hell they could even hire me to do the script, direct and choose the actors (Brad Pitt as Magnus, of course, he already looks good in a skirt, as seen in Troy). Hell why stop at movies. The franchise could even bring back the comic. Come on? Cross dressing, robot fighting with bare hands (karateee chop!), what's not to like? It could be like Casshern only more original and non Japanese. This movie should have been done long ago.

I'm serious. Please steal this idea.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Life still sucks.

I was just thinking that the first person to have ever said "life sucks" must have been the wisest person in the world. "Life sucks" is the most universal statement there is. "Life sucks" is a univrsal truth. It applies to any race, religion, creed, background and people.

The concept of "Age" is a myth. Why cant a 23 year old act like a 17 year old? And, why can't a 23 year old feel 50? The general concept of maturity to the layman seems to be; "To live one's life as rationally and boring as possible."

Contempaltions on,"Its a wonderful life".

My situation right now asks the same questions from the movie; What if I was never born? How would people's lives be any different if I wasn't born? Also, I if I died what would change, and, if I continue my life what differnce would it make?

I just have always had the feeling that I was born in the wrong place and time. This country sucks.


I've been trying to get a job. Just have the problem of where, and how, at the moment. Seems like I'll have to bounce from one minimum wage, nothing job to the next, for the meantime. I've been thinking that I'd rather be running a scam or hustle rather than a J.O.B. job. If I just get a job in a kitchen somewhere it would be great. I have a lot of free time now to think of writing. And also I have a lot of free time for odd jobs, for money, of course. I can move furniture, arrange your closet, or deliver mail. Someone out there please contact me. (I really, really need to learn how to get into that poffesional organizing scam! Or Feng shui! I already am O.C. so these should be easy!)

Man, life sucks.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Bon Jovic

Some day I'll be saturday night. I'll be back on my feet I'll be doing all right...Something goes in between here I forget...I'm gonna find a way. Hey, man I' m alive I'm taking each day a night at a time. Yeah, I'm down. But, I know I'll' get by. Hey, man I'm gonna live my life like I ain't got nothing but the roll of a die.

I'm feeling like a Monday. But, someday, I'll be Saturday night.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Methadone kiss

I've heard from some people that I'm detached from reality. That I have my own reality. What I would like to know is, whose reality are they living in? Why do they have to push their realities on me? How do people grow up to be who they are and what they are? (By the way people don't know the difference between "real" and "tangible".) In my opinion everyone has their own reality. What bothers me is that the majority of people believe in the reality of others and don't live their own reality. Who in the first place thought that life should be ran in a certain way? In this particular way that we live in right now.


I've been thinking a lot about; "The only journey you take in life that you can't talk about." Do I really have some purpose? So many people in the world do I make a differnce? Nobody listens to me anyway. Maybe I have no soul.

No, I'm not suicidal, just an observation. I feel very detached about turning 23.

Letting go of past regrets and sorrows is difficult. Best to take it a step at a time. Pain reminds us that we are alive.


A Zen monk and his disciple were walking down the sidewalk when they encountered a pretty young woman. the woman could not cross the street because of a rather large puddle in the way. The monk then offered to carry the young woman across the street. The monk then carried the woman, walked in the puddle and put the woman down on the other sidewalk. Then after, he and his disciple went on their way. Later, the disciple was bothered by the monk's break in decorum. So he asked the monk ; " Why did you carry the woman isn't it against the teachings to be with women?" The monk then replied to his disciple; " Why, are you still carrying her?"

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Slow motion replay

More cliches of me:

Getting older just leads to more frustrations.I used to look forward to this time of the year. Now it's just another day. No more cake, presents, and people who care.Two years left to of my prime. Looks like I won't get fed today, for the first time since 1996.

I'll take things a day at a time, one step at a time from now on, I hope.
"There is no burden heavier than that of a great potential" -Linus Van Pelt


Remember when I wrote that food tastes like food again, well. Here's what I had for late breakfast, at 2:00 in the afternoon: Sunny side up egg, 3 pieces french toast with honey and butter, chicken nuggets, and fried potatoes. Awesome! It didn't taste like fatty or watery like it does during school days! And, I felt it go all the way down!


Fun stuff from when I first quit school. Some people used to understand. I hope they still do.

Parts have been edited to ensure animinity.*

Thanks for the e-mail. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I've got no
troubles. Just a minor brush with death (it's a long story) and a minor
emotional unstability. Finally remedied it. Talk to you about itsometime
Sorry about yesterday. I wasn't able to have a convo with you.I had to talk
to __ about something. We put our relationship to an end. Don't worry.
_____'s all right. But it'll be kinda hard to get over it. But part of me
feels happy, not because of ending it with __, but because there were no
grudges against each other. I'll surely miss him. But...oh well, things like
that happen. I'll move on. He will too.
I don't have any trouble keeping those decaying bodies. I bought a lot near
our house and I just dump 'em scums there. It was a great pleasure seeing
'em beg for their life, as I mercilessly torture 'em--like torturing
surpassed what torture really is, accompanied by a sinister laugh and an
evil glint in my eye.
Like I said, the whole fucking educational system doesn't make any sense at
all. It's just one way for people, as "teachers", get employed and have a
mimimum wage to keep them alive. Not only that, it's also a way to milk
money from suffering parents just to keep their gago kid in school and cross
their fingers in agony as their kid experiences what college has to offer.
Offer what? Offer pure b.s.!
Getting educated, according to schmucks, is a stepping stone for an
individual to build his life, but ends up pitying his own self for wasting
all that time, money, energy, and miraculously surviving all those incessant
boring blahs by those "teachers". "Teachers" aren't really teachers. They
really don't wanna teach. They just "teach" just for them to have a job.
After he "graduates", he sees himself scouring through a ton of classified
ads and looks for a "job" to keep feeding himself 3 times a day. Next thing
you know, you'll see his name in the papers, not in the Business section
where all "successful" schmucks brag about their "success" stories, but in
the Obituaries--died not because of natural death, but of insanity. Tsk,
tsk. Poor damned soul.
What do I wanna be when I'll grow up? Man, I already grew up as a worhtless
piece of shit. Seriously, I plan to take up Law, or continue getting myself
tortured in BS Psych, and pursue that Doctorate thingy (as Psychiatrist).
But I prefer Law. Those choices are the safest ways to get a salary. At
least it's self-employed. All I hafta worry about is how to get a client.
But ppl kill everyday. I hafta defend 'em. Or...ppl get insane everyday. I
hafta make them even more insane. Ha-ha!
What is hakkyoku?
______ guy--forget about him. Long story. Don't suspect that I'm interested
in him. Just so you know, I'm not.
This is my reply.
Hope it's not too long.

Same ol' same ol' weirdo,

----- Original Message -----
From: Jovic Maru
Sent: Saturday, July 24, 1999 12:01 AM

> Hey!
> Belated happy birthday(was it on the 16th or the19th? Whatever)
> You o.k. now,hope you got no troubles(if you got any problems on where to
> hide bodies I can help you there,if you killed dem yet)
> My life is goin better now that i'm not going to school,i have developed
> lightning quick gaming reflexes and life does not bother me that much.That
> brings me back to the question what does school really do to yer life?,i
> mean if it's that important why dont they start makin skools fpor specific
> reasons,Fuck school It cost me an apprenticeship at star cafe! Hey what do
> you really want to be when ye grow up.all I wanna do is learn
> hakkyoku.WHoops drifted of back there,anyway,yes i do know that _____
> guy
> ,what about him?
> Oh well hope this is not too long.
> Later
> WHo else?

*She is so great!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

By the way...

Where to begin?

Why does almost everybody remember me from when I was in high school? I've moved on people! It's called trancendence!

This time it's going to be different.

Starting out again is harder than I remembered.
Should I take the life planning seminar offered by some group for young adults?
Should I try taking up vocational sessions in carpentry?
Now how to make money, it really is a necessity.

So I already mentioned how rest feels like rest now. Does anybody remember that scene in Lord of the rings where Sam asks Frodo if he rembers the taste of strawberies. Getting out of school seems/might be like losing the One ring(but for how long I really haven't planned it out, anyway, I don't plan anything). Food tastes the way it should now and sleep re-invigorates. I read more, and thoughts are just starting to get clearer, more focused(an improvement, at least, still crazy though, natural high, natural high!). I can also feel the air that I breath( putrid and stale but feeling it, it goes in the lungs now, amazing!).

I don't get these people who have everything planned out and ready. People who go: " When I'm done with high school I'll go to college, I'll take this course in college, I'll finish and get a job, when I'm working that's when I'll get married, we'll have 2 kids(names already planne out, of course!), they'll go to this school, they will finish college, and get jobs, that's when I'll retire and move to the beach." And they think that they're planning realistically. And I'm the one who should face reality? I know the differnces betwen physicaly posible and real by the way(I think).

Anyway(the word for today), random thinking:

Is everything in TV the result of some stoned-of-their-ass bastard? Commercials with the word "Loaded"(put this word in words I hate category along with "diva", pare! let's get loaded!). Bird people. Flying people in acid trip inspired colors(pare blue, is so like water, and red is so like fire. Wow look at the lights im so LOADED!!!). Why are shows from who the hell knows when and were never big in the first place still being shown, Cartoon network i'm looking in you're direction. Flintstones and Top Cat are still good, I agree, but Police academy, The mask? DAMN!

The mayor is a fucking Idiot. Where is my everyday water? Or at least 4 times a week at least.

Has anybody been watching them crazy foreign films? Has anybody seen Casshern, Battle royale (ah the way school is supposed to be run!), or the original Taxi?

Oh yes anybody out there, when you see me ask me about "Deathpact: 25". It's this crazy idea I have that's just too crazy to write down.

Don't help tsunami victims, asia aid my ass, what have those tsunami victims done for us anyway they're just like the "masa".

Trying hard not to swear as much as I do.

Time to fight Shaider( the people who made this were on some strong shit!) in the time space warp.